Society now and days has shaped the minds of our generation into thinking that having sex is normal, hooking up is okay and you are free to live your life the way you see fit, but what does it say about celibacy? Now don’t get me wrong, it is your life and I do not approve of slut-shaming, but why are the people who decide to control their bodies shamed for their decisions?

In this new accepting culture, you would think that anything you want to do with your body is acceptable, but going against the norm is not.

I’m saying all of this from experience. I recently decided to make a  change and become celibate. In return, this decision greatly improved my spiritual life. I found that if I wanted to continue to improve that lifestyle, I would have to give up my old one. This meant to stop drinking, smoking (hookah and weed), stop going to parties and stop having sex. While doing this, I was replacing the need of partying and drinking with other things in my life like devotionals, church, volunteering and doing things that would positively influence my life rather than hinder it. I found that in doing this, my “friends” took notice. I was no longer invited to parties or even asked to hang out in between classes. My “friends” wanted nothing to do with me as if my new lifestyle choices were contagious. They wanted nothing to do with the “church girl” because I had made the conscious decision to stop doing what everyone else loved and start being dedicated to the one person I do love: God. Of course I tried to include them on this journey with me and some agreed to go to church with me, but after the first time became their last time, I knew it was time to move on. Everyone has different life paths and I just started to find my own.

It sounds sad, but in this loss, I truly gained my own piece of mind and was able to thrive in my spiritual life.

All of this is to say if your celibate, and not just from sex (it can be from anything that society deems normal), then keep doing what you’re doing. You will find that people will not approve of what you’re decisions, but at the end of the day, if you’re doing whats right you will gain so much more freedom and piece of mind. And you will forget you were ever missing something in the first place.

Dreu Davis.