In this day and age, communication in relationships is slacking. Blame social media. Blame cell phones. Blame new-age technology.
Because of our general lack of communication skills, it can be hard to decipher people’s intentions. I’ve noticed that ladies find it especially hard to figure out if a new guy they’re seeing is seriously interested, or just toying with their emotions. So exactly how can you tell the difference? Check out some of theses tips below:
1.) Missing Your Calls vs. Ignoring Your Calls
Have you ever put your phone down to study for a test, or put your phone in your pocket while at work, only to see 50 million missed calls, texts and notifications when you finally get back to it? If so, you are not alone. No one is ever near their phone 100 percent of the time, including your potential bae.
The difference: He will call you back. Or at least let you know that he can’t use his phone at the moment and he will call you back when he can. It’s simple, really; if he doesn’t return your call, he’s not into you… And texts don’t count. You can’t return a call with a text.
2.) Being Busy vs. Not Making Time For You
People are busy, especially college students. Between class, work, family, friends and other obligations, when it’s all said and done, your guy may barely have time for himself.
The difference: Instead of using his free time for his “me time,” he uses it to link up with you. However, if he claims to never have free time–and face it, everyone gets free time at some point–what he really means is that he doesn’t have free time for you. People make time for whatever they care about, and if he’s not putting in the effort to see you, he doesn’t care about you. Sorry.
3.) Taking It Slow vs. (Passively) Rejecting You
It is extremely important to truly get to know the person you’re thinking about making a commitment to. Before offering your loyalty to someone, feel them out. It’s okay to date many people, and if you’re only focusing on one, that’s fine, too. This is how you figure out what you want and what you don’t want in a partner, and eventually, you’ll connect with someone who meets (or exceeds) your criteria. Have fun, build a friendship and allow love to come naturally. Thats how strong ‘bonds’ are formed. (i.e. “A bond is better than a title.”)
The difference: This guy is really trying to get to know you. He asks questions about you and the people in your life, he remembers your favorite color, he knows that you hate seafood–he probably can read you like a book, depending on how long you’ve been dating. On the other hand, if you have the relationship talk and the guy says “let’s take it slow,” then he starts to pull away (see #1 and #2), he doesn’t want you. And you shouldn’t want him if he can’t even be up front about it.
4.) Meeting His Friends vs. Running Into His Friends
This is self-explanatory.
The difference: If he actually introduces you to his friends, whether it’s at a gathering or he plans a get-together of some sort, whatever is going on between you two is real. You may or may not be headed for commitment, but either way, he considers you as a part of his life. Therefore, you have to meet everyone else that’s in his life. BUT… If you and the guy are out, and y’all randomly run into his friends, then the introduction will be forced; it won’t be as a result of him wanting you to get acquainted with them. If he’s rude, he still won’t introduce you to his friends, even if they’re in your face and having a full-fledged conversation as you awkwardly stand by. (I’ve seen it happen before.) But anywho, if you don’t get a proper introduction to his friends, the feelings are not that deep.
5.) Late Night Dates vs. Booty Calls
Most couples go on dates during the evening. From concerts, to dining, to movies and even carnivals, everything seems to be poppin’ at night. I mean, day dates are cool, too. But Fright Fest at Six Flags isn’t all that when the sun is out.
The difference: Some people are nocturnal. Some people have jobs that don’t allow them to get off before 5 p.m. Whatever the case, late night dates don’t always always mean he’s trying to sleep with you. Maybe the late evening is the only time he can really see you at this point in his life. He still respects you, and he’s never suggested that y’all “chill” at his place. He probably takes you out for brunch whenever he gets a day off. Now, if he says he wants to cuddle up and watch a movie at 3 o’clock in the morning after he just got home from the club, tell that mofo “GOODBYE.” Unless of course, you’re down for that. But no, seriously. If you two have never been on a real date, and the only quality time you spend together is in the bedroom, you’re his booty call.
As you navigate your way through this crazy thing called “love,” hopefully you can use these tips to figure out what it is, and what it isn’t.
One response to ““He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” — How to Tell if a Guy is Really Into You”
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