Have you ever loved someone so much that you almost put them before anything else? Their feelings, their wants, everything is about them. You just enjoy making them happy. Don’t get me wrong, being in love is amazing. But what if it ends? What if you become so attached to that person that being without them seems impossible? You just can’t stand the thought of not talking to them every day or seeing them. When it’s over you feel like you lost everything. This is what happens when you lose yourself in your relationship. You forget about your needs and your wants.

 I’m telling you from personal experience, losing yourself in a relationship is probably the worst thing you could ever do. The most horrible part is, when it’s all over you don’t even have yourself to go back to because you don’t even know who “you” are. You have become this completely other person and you’re entirely unrecognizable even to yourself. This is the moment when you need to step back and just breathe. Take a couple of days off, turn off your phone, and just focus on you.

 I’m not saying to lock yourself in your room and be sad all day long. I’m saying do things for you. Splurge a little. Buy yourself something that makes you feel completely irresistible. Not to impress anybody else, this is just for you. Eat your favorite breakfast. Go to that little coffee shop or bakery you just love. Go somewhere new. Somewhere that isn’t going to remind you of him/her. This could be a new vacation, or something as simple as a new restaurant.

 The most important thing to do is not think too much. I know, this is probably one of the hardest parts of it. But when its 3 am and your mind just keeps strolling back to them, just stop. Stop yourself from over analyzing everything. My favorite thing to do when I over think is just going to sleep. It’s really that simple. If you text or call them when you’re sad and lonely, you’re just going to regret it the next morning. It’s better to just let your mind relax and not stress.

 This all sounds great, kinda being disconnected for a little bit, but we all have to go back to daily lives. So what do you do when you’re stressed at work or school and all your thoughts just go back to them? Well, you’re not going to call and beg them to come back. Find someone. A best friend, a mother, a sibling, anyone who you can just go to and say you’ve had a long day, and are in need of a hug. You will feel so much better and stronger than if you had called them. I promise.

 Slowly but surely, your goals and wants will come back to you. Focus on them. Don’t stress about finding someone else. Once you’re doing amazing and have accomplished everything you wanted to the right person will find you. Think about making friends. Because one day you might wake up and realize you want to marry your best friend. So don’t stress it.

 Also, when that ex comes back around and they always do, just ignore it. It’s better to just leave everything in the past that try to fix something that’s already broken. Black his/her number if you need to! It’ll really just make your life easier.