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Do I Want to Enter College in a Relationship? Top 5 Considerations

  1. Are you going to be in close proximity?

I’m sure you’ve heard it before, long distance relationships don’t last, but that isn’t necessarily true it just depends on how much time both parties are willing to commit to communicate on a daily basis. I know many who have tried and failed because they didn’t communicate enough, but I also know one couple who live states a part and still could not be more in love. A stable relationship is built on communication and failure to communicate leads to less involvement, understanding, and connectivity in each other’s lives. If you are separating more than an hour by car drive, it is important to consider if you or your significant other want to put in the effort to communicate on a daily basis, but while not having it conflict with your new found college life. Finding a balance is challenging.

  1. Do you guys both want the same things?

Have you discussed what you and your significant other want out of this relationship? If not, now would be a good time to do so because you really need to figure out if devoting energy to this relationship while adjusting to your new life is really worth the extra energy, the adjustment to college on its own is very taxing. This doesn’t mean that you have to know that you want to get married right out of college, but just check in and see if you both really want this commitment and think that this commitment will benefit you both in the future. Sometimes couples will have different expectations of their relationship and what they want to get out of it so it is extremely important to communicate these expectations before entering college.

  1. Do you trust each other?

This seems like an obvious one, because trust is a key part of any relationship but college will really challenge your trust in different ways. Especially for those of you intending to rush a sorority or fraternity, trust levels may be taken to a whole new level. Not only will Greek life challenge your trust, but going to parties, different classes, and making new friend groups will as well. This is a time in your life where a lot of change will be happening and a lot of new people will be entering your life so it is important to really trust your significant other and make sure that they trust you during your new social experimentations. Neither party wants someone constantly nagging them nor judging them for the decisions they make while figuring out college, because it’s just a part of the learning process, don’t let your significant other hold you back. Also, don’t get too wrapped up in nagging on them either because it will be a whole lot of stress and energy that you could be devoting instead to your school work, making new friends, and adjusting to your new school environment.

  1. Are you stable with your identity and who you are?

You may feel fairly confident about the person you are today and the person you hope to become but college will change you in ways you may not expect. You will start to think and act differently based on the experiences you have in college. Your new friends, classes, and ambitions may really shift throughout college, since this is the time for you to explore and experiment to find out your real passions. You may find yourself lost at points throughout your college experience and that is ok. This is important to consider because both you and your significant other need to be aware that changes are likely to happen and make sure you are willing to grow and adapt together. Sometimes couples get too caught up in the way things used to be, and this is not a healthy outlook which can lead to nasty breakups. Both parties need to be able to keep looking forward together, and know that if you do grow a part, it is okay. You shouldn’t have to try and be the person you used to be to keep your significant other happy.

  1. Are you truly happy?

Really think about this relationship before you make a decision as to whether or not it is worth the fight. Why are you in this relationship? Is it just because it’s comfortable and easy, and all you know? Are you holding on because you are afraid of all the changes college holds for you in the future? These are questions you should really consider before committing while in college. College is such a valuable time that should not be wasted on relationships that are not worth your while. If this is a relationship you are not 100% ecstatic about, chances are you will be happier entering college single.

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