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iPhone 5 Review

So, the first thing you’re probably asking is why in the world am I writing reviews for things? And I would just simply reply with, “Shut up, I do what I want. Quit asking questions.” Now, carrying on, I am in no way a professional at reviewing things and this is going to be completely biased. At least I realize. Still, it had to be done.

Yoooo, so I woke up this morning with only a single goal in mind: to get my filthy paws on that Iphone V. (This was written on Friday, but whatever).  I threw on some threads as quickly as I could and got to the AT&T store at about 8:30ish. It was like 12 people in line but they opened the store at 8 so they were already letting people in. So I stood line for about 30 mins and this is the part where things started to take a turn left…

First of all, f*** AT&T. They f***** up my pre-order and it was their fault I even had to stand outside in line looking like a motherless child anyway. I can say that? Haha, of course I can. Secondly, they ran out of black joints within like 10 minutes of me being in line. What they had like 10 of them?! 16 and 32 gig completely wiped from my reach just like that. Smh. And then another 10 minutes pass and they run out of white 32 gigs. Fam…it’s all cool though, my dreams aren’t completely crushed yet . . . until about 5 minutes later. I’m the next in line and they only have a couple of  white 16 gigs left and they start holding out on just how many they have. Somebody inside says 11 and it’s already people inside waiting to cop theirs. Steve ain’t die for me to be tortured like this. Smh. Now at this point, I already practically got the choppa on standby and after another 30-45 mins of pure f******, I finally have it in my grasp. Swag.



Yo, this joint is wild light. Yeah, it was necessary I said it like that so you got my point. It literally don’t even feel like I have anything in my hands half the time. Crazy. And it’s bigger too?! How Apple even pull this one off? Idk b, but I’m so glad they did. I’m loving this adamantium back cover too, because we all now I’m bound to be drunk and fumble my phone away unto the pavement at some point or another. You probably want to know what it does. Well . . .everything, f*** you thought? Haha, well, not really, but it does everything I need it to.  It’s way faster than I even expected it to be.  And the best part is Siri’s upgrade. I mean, where else can I get on-the-fly stats, scores, and schedules of my beloved Knickerbockers?

Lightning Charger


So Apple has these new smaller, lighter, better, faster chargers and all that blah blah. Basically . . .it’s a charger, nothing to throw a parade about. You most likely are going to be pissed off about all those accessories you bought that or now useless to you though.



Surprisingly dope. No seriously. I didn’t believe a thing Apple was trying to sell me on these . . .until I unearthed them and gave them a test run myself. They actually are mad snug and can possibly be the most snug headphones I’ve ever actually used. And this part is going to sound weird but it’s something very unusual about the actual sound of the headphones. It’s not a right and left type of thing . . but, it seems as if the music is coming directly from the middle of my head. Very swagful. And the quality is amazingly good. I couldn’t even hear myself (or whatever nonsense my moms was blabbing about) and they weren’t even half way up.




So we can Facetime anywhere, anyplace now . . .or so we thought. Yep, once again, f*** AT&T. The only time you can Facetime over the network is through a shared data plan. I honestly don’t even know what that means, but whatever.

So, there we have it. A complete breakdown of the dopest phone around. Am I being a complete fan? Probably so, but who even cares? And yeah, I didn’t include all that iOS5 stuff, but you could always just get your own and figure it out yourself.  And none of you green bubble b***** better get anywhere near my baby’s inbox. I don’t care about anything you have to say. Y’all just get to talk to me through my mentions. Haha.

I’m out.


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